"You don't have a nanny!?"

So I have 3 kids, 3 dogs, a husband and a Daniel (our "nephew") and no nanny!!!! Apparently, in this neighborhood you do not care for any living thing, EVER. Dog walkers, nannies and gardeners are everywhere. The idea of me raising my children just about made my new neighbor, let's call her Rebecca, almost pass out. She recently moved in to the 6 bedroom mini mansion next store (I have one of the smaller houses in the neighborhood, I know I'm sooo poor!) and was practically having a nervous breakdown because the nanny they hired didn't start for a couple days. She's not the only one, my other neighbor, we will call her Mitzy, not to protect her identity but because I can't remember her name and that's what I call her when discussing her general c*ntiness with Juan, also has a nanny. Her kids are like 15, 13 and 11. Whose ass is this poor woman still wiping?! Why the hell do you still need a nanny?

Let me be clear, I am not saying the use of nannies is bad, not at all, but if you are a stay at home mother and you don't have children in Octomom proportions, you don't need a full-time f*cking nanny. If you can't handle your school aged children from 2:30 in the afternoon until bedtime or the idea of taking care of your own infant makes you faint, you probably should have gotten a fish instead of procreating. If your children are so difficult to handle that you have to go on the internet and find your own personal Mrs. Doubtfire that may mean you have failed at parenting, on second thought let someone else raise your hellions you obviously aren't cut out for the job. 

I mean I get it, sometimes kids are assholes, like a lot, and sometimes they make you want to day drink, like a lot, and sometimes they fight and cry and you find yourself hiding in the bathroom hoping no one is bleeding but their your kids. You decided to bring these sticky little balls of love and annoyance into this world, the least you can do is be the one they make want to start happy hour at 10 AM.

Babies and Beers the perfect combo.
This isn't one of my children, it's my sister's baby.
You can learn about her crazy brood here

Follow my blog with Bloglovin